frustration.....

This whole thing can get really frustrating at times. And the last few days have been one of those times. We have been doing this diet for 2 months now. I have been giving myself the shots since August....(2, every 5-7 days). I have noticed a difference, but we are still not better completely. I still have alot of symptoms of candida...which leads me to believe that we need to do MORE. I am beginning to think that we need to cut out MORE foods. I am not sure how that is even possible, because eliminating more foods will eliminate most of the foods that we eat now....especially the kids. The diet we are on is a modified version of the candida diet, but the true candida diet calls for eating NO fruit for the first 3 weeks. We would also need to cut out milk.....and coffee. I just dont really know what to do. I am not sure what the right answers are. I think that cutting out all of the stuff and doing the true candida diet will most likely help, but man...I am already loosing weight like crazy. I have lost 7 pounds, and I do not have any weight to loose in the first place. I think if I cut out fruits and I cut out milk, it will drastically cut down on things that I can eat to add weight, even more so than I am already dealing with on the modified version. Then there are the kids....they love to eat apples and blueberries, bananas, and pears. That is one thing that I have been able to give them on the modified version of the diet, that keeps them happy. If I cut that, it will be hard. It is hard enough to to keep sugary foods away from them. At home we do fine, but Lexi is in school and it seems like every other day they have a birthday party, holiday, or something that they are serving cupcakes or cookies. It is so frustrating. I do not want to deprive my children and make them feel wierd, but I also want us to get better. It is just really hard for a 2 and almost 5 year old to grasp all of this. Heck....it is hard for me and I am an adult that can think about it and understand it.
I had a reaction to my dust and molds injection this week too. It was nothing big, but I got some skin lesions....once of which is right where I gave myself the injection. I have to call the dr and get that straightened out. I am not sure if they will want me to get a new vial or what. Guess I will find out soon about that.
I am still having the heart thing. I am still not sure what to think about that. I have this odd lump in between my rib cages at times. It is not always there.....and it feels like an organ possibly? I dont know. It hurts if I put pressure on it....feels like it feels when you get the wind knocked out of you, only slight. I am not sure what that is.....but no one that I tell about it seems to be overly concerned with all of that. The only explaination I have gotten from 3-4 different drs is that it may be because I am a very thin person. They think I am seeing and feeling things because of that, that many people would not see or feel. I dont know if that explaination makes sense to me or not, but that is what I have been told.
Sometimes this whole experience really is just too darn much. I just want to throw my hands up in the air and say WHATEVER! I have to remind myself to stay positive....I have to read my Bible and I have to trust God and not allow my mind to go there. It can get tough though. It has been over a year, and we are still dealing with this on a day to day basis. If you are dealing with this type of situation, know that it is hard. Know that it is very very frustrating and at times you will loose it. Try to remember that GOD IS WORKING. He is....even if we do not see the perfect results that we would like to see.....He is working...
I have to remind myself of this.....an thank Him for working in us. I know that we will be healed. I know that we will one day not have to deal with all of this anymore. I have to remain positive and I have to stay focused.