mold clean up

When we started the mold
clean up, it was overwhelming.
we didnt really even know where to begin.
Even though we had insurance, they denied the claim and
would not help us in any way, shape, or form. We were on our own
in this mess. This was as devestating as a fire. We lost everything...only
we had to actually go through it all and get rid of it ourselves. The frustration
was consumming at times. We had to focus and not allow ourselves to loose it. we had to toss alot of the girls baby clothes. That was difficult. I am a naturally very sentimental person. I keep everything! Taking the girls little sleepers, baby blankets, and keepsakes that they had made as toddlers was extremely difficult.

we went in stages. At the beginning, we were not ready to let everything go....and we didnt understand the gravity of the situation. We let everything sit for awhile, and tried to figure out what the next step was.

After talking to specialists and researching, we finally understood that the life that we knew, was over. We could never go back to the house, and most of everything that we owned, had to be thrown away. We finally got the courage to go and dispose of everthing that we had worked as a couple to build. Clean up was a very emotional process. It was very difficult to throw away pretty much everything that we owned. We had to throw away keepsakes, photos, baby items, toys, clothes, furniture, toys, etc. Most of what we owned was thrown away. The hardest part was throwing away things that really meant something to us. There were professional photographs of our children as babies.....pictures of us from our wedding....honeymoon momentoes. Throwing those into a dumpster as if they meant nothing to us, was difficult.

thousands of dollars worth of toys and books, that our children loved, were thrown into the dumpster, due to the toxic mold spores. We had the kids stay with Grandma or their Aunt while we were cleaning up. If they had seen the things that we were throwing away, it would have added to the traumatizing experience that they were already trying to deal with.

we had many large truck loads of our belongings, thrown into the dump....the truck was completely packed full of our things. It was very hard to throw away almost everything that we owned.

ALL of our baby items had to be thrown into the trash, including stuffed animals that the girls loved and had received as baby gifts. Bedding, matresses, our pack n' play that we had used with both of our girls...it definately was hard for me to throw these things away. Some of the stuffed animals, I thought twice about tossing. Some of the stuffed animals were mine when I was a baby....I have had them my entire life. As I had second thoughts, I would come to the reality that these things were not only trash, they were TOXIC. I would look at them one last time, and throw them into the trash.....trying not to get choked up as I did it.

our matresses and couches had to be thrown away. Anything that was soft in any way was immediately pitched, including all of the kids stuffed animals and dolls. It was not only difficult emotionally, but the financial aspect was also overwhelming. We didnt know what the heck we were going to do. Not only did we not have a home, but we did not have ANYTHING to put into a new home, when we found one.

It was very difficult to try to explain to our children why we could not go home. For weeks they would cry and cry. They would bed us to take them back to the "mold house", as our 4 year old calls it. She would just sob and beg for her room...her toys....her house. She would tell us, "mommy and daddy....it is ok. Lets just live there and I will be sick." She just didnt understand....heck, I didnt understand, and I am an adult. That was the hardest part about everything. Worrying about the children and how this was going to effect them. How could I, as a mother, make sure that they were ok? How could I make sure that they were not completely traumatized? It was bad enough that they were sick.....but now they were an emotional mess as well. That was hard. It took alot of prayer and alot of trust in God. And alot of patience.

Paper items were thrown away. It was difficult to throw away photos of my family and keepsakes of my children. I tried to be strong through it all, and remind myself that this was just "stuff". But, as I threw cards, drawings, and pictures of my kids into the trash., I would get choked up. I specifically remember one little keepsake that my oldest daughter and I had made when she was just a toddler. She was abot 18 months when we made it. It was a little paper handprint craft. It was adorable, and it meant something to me. I held onto it for awhile when we were cleaning up. I held it and looked at it over and over. I didnt want to let it go. But, I finally came to the realization that it was STUFF. It was stuff, and it was toxic. I did shed a few tears though as I threw it away.

Because we had no financial help through insurance, we were forced to move all of our belongings ourselves. If you are dealing with toxic mold, be prepared. Know that most likely you are on your own, financially. Because I had been so sick, I did very little. I went for a few hours and told others what could be trashed and what needed to be gone through and cleaned. Most of what we owned, was trashed. Here I am, putting on all of my protective gear to go into our home for a few minutes. We wore professional masks, garbage bags on our hair, long sleeves, gloves, bags over our shoes, and changed our clothing as soon as we left the house.

These are just a few of the hundreds of photos we have of all of the belongings that we threw away. The process was very overwhelming and very hard emotionally. For along time, everytime I thought about this process....and especially when I looked at photos, I would be filled with anger. Anger and bitterness. Bitterness toward the person that caused all of this. However, now I do not feel that way. I actually feel that this process has taught me more than most learn about life and love, in a lifetime. I have grown closer to God than I ever would have had this not happened. I have learned a great deal, and I hope to have this experience help others. Help others through their own ordeals, and help others find Jesus. I think this quote sums it up....."Though I have lost much, I have gained more."